The Purpose of Life

To Make No Waves

 

A Cavalcade of Anxiety – a participatory poem (add a stanza or two)

colony collapse
restless legs
identity theft
tainted eggs

leaded Barbie
cancer genes
home invasion
tainted greens

Can I get you a drink?

Perhaps an evil Dewars on the raqs?

Clifford’s poop – a participatory poem (add a stanza)

Clifford’s poop is big and red.
I wish I had a cat instead.

Clifford is a big red dog
I wish he did a smaller log

Clifford’s poop is freshly laid
I think I’ll need a bigger spade.

Truck load in – truck load out.
People do drive by and shout

obscenities from A to Z
so on their cars he takes a pee.

The pee is long, the pee is red
The big red dog may soon be dead

Clifford goes to see the vet
He pees again the vet gets wet

Clifford’s back begins to hump
It’s time for him to take a dump!

So, be careful not to stand to close.
You might just find it’s really gross.

And if you’ve found you stood too near,
It may be too late by the time you’d hear.

There’s not a soul that would think you cool,
all covered in Clifford’s big red stool.

That Thing in My Closet

That thing in my closet,
it’s not always there.

But when it is -
it gives me a scare

at the Walmart – in Tunkhannock

Where do they display the “Birthday – Suggestive” cards?

On the bottom row at kid’s eye level, next to the cute Snoopy and Tweety Bird cards.

clean fill wanted

there is a reason
help wanted ads
are in boxes

image source

WWFD?

What Would FOX  Do?

Add tits and slow motion.

President G.I. Joe

“I will strongly reject an artificial timetable (for) withdrawal and/or
Washington politicians trying to tell those who wear the uniform how to do their job,” (Rumsfeld doesn’t count, he knew just what to do)

source of quote:

A message from the Commander in Chief

My fellow Americans,

The last time we won a war on two fronts the whole country was mobilized and each individual citizen had to sacrifice dearly. I don’t want you to suffer like they did. In fact, I want you to go about your business and enjoy the material riches this country has to offer. I want you to look back on these times with fond memories. I want you to again vote Republican so we can continue to enjoy material pleasures. Hell, go get yourself a personal watercraft or an illegal domestic if you like. And tell ‘em, the Commander in Chief sent ya.

God (the one I believe in, that is) Bless America!